It was not until I was 42 years old and after the murder of my 19 year old nephew that I heard for the first time the wonderful gospel of Grace that had the power to save me. It was the night before my nephew’s funeral and a friend of the family had the courage to sit us all down on my sister’s deck and tell us the gospel in the following way.  He said: 

 “You can not earn eternal life by the ‘good’ things that you do. Eternal life is offered to you only as a free gift based on the death of Jesus Christ on the cross for your sins. Jesus paid the whole price for your sins and your salvation when He died on the cross and there is nothing you can do to improve upon that sacrifice.  All we can do is to trust that Jesus paid our own personal sin debt and receive His free gift of eternal life by faith in Him and His sacrifice for us.”   

He used an analogy with a chair. He said, “When you sit in this chair, you don’t question if that chair will hold you or not, you simply sit in it by faith and trust it to hold your weight without collapsing. That’s like it is in trusting Jesus for your salvation. You stop trusting in your own “goodness” as a reason to be allowed into Heaven, and you begin trusting fully what Jesus did for you on the cross as your only basis for obtaining eternal life in Heaven. You must trust Him to hold you into eternal life as simply as you would trust that chair when you sit down.” 

Here is what totally amazed me.  He said that we could know right now, TODAY that we are going to Heaven and not have to wait until Judgment Day.  The reason? Because we are not trusting in our own “goodness” as being deserving of Heaven, but are instead trusting in Jesus that He purchased our redemption on the cross.  When Jesus said “It is finished!” He was saying that He had just accomplished everything needed for our salvation on the cross by paying for our sin. Our trust now must turn from trusting in ourselves and our own goodness (none of us are really good anyway) and to trusting in Jesus!  That’s how we can know today that Heave is our home!  It is ALL by faith in Jesus. To receive eternal life is like receiving a gift someone hands to you on your birthday. You don’t try to pay them back for it, or offer to mow their yard in return! It’s a gift and all you can do is receive it, open it and say, “Thank you!” 

It is the FREE GIFT part that really intrigued me. I had always been part in a rather legalistic (lots of rules) church where even though we were taught that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, we still had to do “our part” and essentially earn our way to Heaven by keeping the laws just right, and the truth is, and we never really knew if we had done that part good enough and in reality wouldn’t know until Judgment Day. No real assurance of eternal life. 

Now I understood better why Jesus died on the cross for me and it began to change my life! I believed it! In my heart, I prayed a prayer to God and gladly accepted the free gift of eternal life that Jesus was offering me. I understood in my heart that Jesus purchased my forgiveness and eternal life on the cross that day 2,000 years ago. I had such joy in my heart!  I can go to Heaven! It’s almost too good to be true.  I have lived my life in fear, knowing that I probably was not going to Heaven and frustrated by the fact that I knew I could never be good enough to go to Heaven no matter how hard I tried. Now the thought that Jesus paid the whole debt for my sins and would grant me the gift of eternal life by simply trusting Him for it was the best news I ever heard. 

I lived with that knowledge in my heart for nearly 2 years, realizing daily that Jesus paid the whole price. I could now think of Heaven or of Jesus returning without fear. I was going! 

The way I lived my daily life however hadn’t really changed at this point. I began to want to know more about God other than just knowing that I was going to Heaven. I really began to want to know and love Him in a personal way.  I tried to love Him but I didn’t know how. My Dad would tell me, “All He wants is your love!”  I told my Dad that I really want to love Him, but I don’t know how to make it happen. I could say, “I love You” to God but I wanted to really feel it in my heart.  I was powerless to make it happen.  My Dad then told me something that changed my life AGAIN!  He said, “Just ask Him for the Holy Spirit!”  It made no sense to me at the time, but a few weeks later while I was in the shower I was thinking about God (I was thinking about God a lot by this time), and what my Dad said came into my mind.  I said, “OK, I will ask.” I then prayed, “God, I ask for your Holy Spirit”.  Almost immediately, the most incredible feeling of peace and love came over me. It almost poured onto me from above like the shower I was in. The first thing I noticed is that my “fear of death” left me as I stood in perfect peace and calm in my soul.  I have never felt this before. I had always been afraid of dying and now I suddenly didn’t care. This incredible, almost ecstatic peace and love that I felt lasted intensely for maybe 15 minutes, but I couldn’t forget it. I experienced the very “presence” of God through His Holy Spirit and it was the most incredible experience of my life. I experienced Psalm 34:8 which says, “Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” The Lord had allowed me to “taste” His wonderful presence and now I could never be the same. I wanted more of Him! He had given me His Holy Spirit and now I truly began to feel intense love for Jesus. My spiritual eyes began to open and I began to read my Bible every moment I got. It suddenly made complete sense to me. I was now reading about what had happened to me and I was now entering into a real love relationship with God. 

I now loved Him so much that I actually wanted to live my life for Him rather than just for myself. I didn’t want to do anything that would hurt or offend Him, not because of a list of do’s and don’ts, but because I loved Him. I will never forget the day that I dropped to my knees on my garage floor and said to Him: 

 “I want to live the rest of my life for you! I love you and don’t want to hurt or dishonor you any more. From this day forward I belong to you!” 

I got up from the floor crumpled up my cigarette pack and threw it away. I went in the house, opened my safe and removed all the alcohol, drugs and pornography and destroyed it. Jesus set me free! I had been addicted to these things for many years and now I didn’t even want them any more! The power of God came and Jesus set me free just like the Bible says. What I could never have done in a lifetime of trying on my own, He did in a day! That was seven years ago and I have never touched any of it since by God’s grace. To Him be all the glory!  

The pursuit of His presence and to know Him more continues today. The joy of knowing “for sure” that I am going to Heaven and experiencing His peace and presence in my life on a daily and hourly basis is a million times better than the most intense pleasure I experienced living a life of sin apart from Him. I certainly am not perfect today by any means, but I love Him and when I sin against Him, the Holy Spirit Who lives in me pricks my heart to quickly ask for forgiveness and to desire never to do it again.  

This has been a long writing but I could go on to write volumes more of what God has done for me and how He answers and reveals Himself to those who seek Him. The greatest thing you can ever experience is but a moment of His “presence” in your heart and soul. If you just “taste Him” you will be hooked on Him for life just as I am. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to simply receive the incredible gift of eternal life that He offers you.  That is the springboard of your encounter with God that will grow, surprise and amaze you on a daily basis. What could be greater than to actually experience the presence and glory of Almighty God, here and now and forever? Please seek Him out. Hebrews 11:6 says, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”